Substantive Education

January 23, 2009

More Metaphors

Filed under: writing — kbagdanov @ 8:00 pm
Tags: , ,

I found this list of metaphors used in high school papers on english@kcc’s blog. Although many of these are technically not metaphors they are still worth a laugh. Only high school students would have come up with some of these…gotta love it.

1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.

2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.

3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli, and he was room temperature Canadian beef.

5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

7. He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree.

8. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn’t.

9. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.

10. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.

11. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

12. Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.

13. Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.

14. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.

15. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.

16. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.

17. The ballerina rose gracefully en Pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.

18. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.

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6 Comments »

  1. May I just say again how much I appreciate your teaching Kelly. English was never my strong suit. Most of what I learned about proper usage of words etc. was from my joy of reading and reading so many good books that had their english right! From that history of reading I sometimes just know instinctively how something should sound or be spelled.

    Comment by Ellen — January 24, 2009 @ 2:28 am | Reply

  2. Thanks, and now I have proof that if you just read you’ll turn into a writer by osmosis, you can’t deny your are a writer when you blog daily. 🙂

    Comment by kbagdanov — January 24, 2009 @ 3:11 am | Reply

  3. I live by metaphor 3, it really changed my life.

    Comment by Michael — January 24, 2009 @ 4:32 am | Reply

  4. I am giggling like a Tickle Me Elmo stuck in the on position.

    Comment by acompletethought — January 27, 2009 @ 2:49 am | Reply

  5. And I’m still giggling at the Tickle Me Elmo one.

    Comment by kbagdanov — January 27, 2009 @ 5:21 am | Reply

  6. […] lesson on metaphors for high school writers here, and a fun list of high school metaphors  here. Possibly related posts: (automatically generated)Metaphorically Speaking Leave a […]

    Pingback by Easy Writing Exercise, Number 4 « Substantive Education — March 29, 2010 @ 7:49 pm | Reply


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