I found this list of metaphors used in high school papers on english@kcc’s blog. Although many of these are technically not metaphors they are still worth a laugh. Only high school students would have come up with some of these…gotta love it.
1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.
2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.
3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.
4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli, and he was room temperature Canadian beef.
5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.
6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
7. He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree.
8. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn’t.
9. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.
10. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.
11. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.
12. Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.
13. Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.
14. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.
15. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.
16. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.
17. The ballerina rose gracefully en Pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.
18. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.